Thursday, September 25, 2008

6 Months

I'm generally not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, nor do I express my emotions in a public manner. However, I was overcome with many emotions when I woke up this morning. Today marks 6 months that Kate left our arms. I think back to that morning on March 25 and the many thoughts and feelings I had. Life seemed, somewhat, normal to us. I remember thinking how very blessed we were to have Kate out of the hospital and at home with us. Although she was technologically dependent, Bryan and I were determined to help Kate live as "normal" a life as possible. Life was good. We had a beautiful daughter who brought us so much joy and happiness, who made our lives complete and a baby girl on the way. Kate required 24-hour care. It could be tiresome, stressful and emotional at times, but I would never change a thing. I feel that true happiness comes from serving the ones your love. How grateful I am that I spent almost every waking hour with Kate. Did I ever think when I woke up that beautiful Spring morning that our lives would take a different route. Kate endured so much in her short little life. She was sick and struggled in many aspects. Some may say that it is a blessing for her to be freed from her physical pain. However, that doesn't change the fact that we miss our baby girl.

This past Saturday, Kate's headstone was set. It is perfect. I couldn't be more happy with the way it turned out. It was a bitter sweet day, though. We were excited to have it here to actually have a monument to visit, but sad because I feel like it's the final step of this whole process.

We chose to use a picture from her blessing day. I love the little look on her face.

One of my favorite songs I would sing to Kate was You Are My Sunshine, so we thought it was appropriate to have the words on the back side of her headstone.


Dear Sweet Kate....

Who would have ever thought that one little girl could teach us so much. You were loved.....loved beyond measures. You were beautiful. No one could resist playing with those beautiful brown curls....even though you hated it when people would play with your hair. You were strong. You were brave. You were a teacher. Thank you for teaching us patience, charity, humility, faith and unconditional love. You made your mommy and daddy so happy and made us better people. Thank you for allowing us to learn from your example. You had so many friends who loved you and prayed for you. You are missed.....missed more than you will know.

We love you sweet Kater Bugs.

This is the last picture we have of Kate taken on Easter just 2 days before she passed away. I think she looks so beautiful in her little Easter dress.

28 comments:

Alicia Dabney said...

Marcae, I love that picture of Kate and her headstone is breathtakingly beautiful.

Shane & Laina said...

That is so beautiful Marcae, both the thoughts and the headstone. My heart goes out to you!

The Nurse said...

i can't believe it has been six months. i was there that night and i still think about it from time to time. her head stone looks great. she was such an amazing little girl. my heart and thoughts to out to you.

Maquel said...

The headstone is beautiful! You and Bryan are so strong--we will continue to keep you in our prayers.

It was a lot of fun to see you at the Applefest. I only wish we could have stayed longer.

Jamie said...

That was really sweet Marc. I know you must miss her every day. She looks so beautiful in her Easter dress, and the head stone is beautiful as well.

The Hawaiian Howells said...

I think the head stone turned out just the way it should too. I love kate so much and will always remember what she did for my life and our family's. Baby's like kate have a special spirit that goes on forever. LOve meg

holli said...

The headstone is absolutely beautiful. You are great at putting your thoughts into words, something that I have never been good at. My heart and thoughts go out to you. Thank you for such another amazing post!

Treo Sanders said...

I absolutely love it. Your the strogest girl I know and I love you. Kater Bugs loves you and was so blessed to have you as her mom. I hope your doing well and that your are smiling. This past weekend was so much fun. See you in a few weeks.
Love you

Kristin Perry said...

What a beautiful little tribute. I just cried and cried when I read you are my sunshine on the back of her headstone. We sing that to our girls every night and I could never imagine how it feels to have your sunshine taken away. Oh my heart aches for you today. We love you guys. Hang in there.

Jen said...

I LOVE it! The headstone is so fitting for sweet Kate. I can't think of a more peaceful cemetary than Fillmore's. Love you bunches!

The Lapuaho's said...

Oh Marcae...my heart aches for you as I read this post. Kate is such a sweet spirit.. while you had her here on Earth and now she is watching over you. The headstone to beautiful and PERFECT! I am sad I missed out on the Apple Fest this year. How did everything go?

kenz said...

Marcae, what a wonderful weekend, it is not the end! Everyone that new Kate will remember her everyday in our hearts. She was such a strong little girl and taught so many patience and service and unconditional love. Her headstone is perfect. I hope Apple days was a hit, I can't wait to hear all about it. Sorry I couldn't be there to support you and Kate. Next year for sure! Love you and your beautiful family, thanks for always being such a great example to me!

The Dumas Family said...

I am so sorry we missed her headstone on Saturday. I'm so glad you were able to get it, finally. I understand your mixed feelings, but it really did turn out beautiful and is quite fitting for little Kate. Thank you for sharing all your beautiful words with us. We love you!

Lindsay said...

Kate's headstone is beautiful. I love that you picked that song to go on the back. I am so sorry you have to do this - please know that we think about you guys often and that we love your little Kate so much.

Jocey said...

I love your tribute Marcae. I know you carry her with you everywhere you go. She was an amazing example of strength and love and made us all better people just by knowing her!
We missed the great weekend last week. I would have loved to have been there. Chris had to travel with the SUU football team which left me alone to take care of all the weekend activities. I would love to hear how it went!
Hope all is well with you guys!
Love, Marie

Matt and Amber Hansen said...

I love that baby girl! Seeing pictures of her brought tears to my eyes Marcae. What a blessing she is to all of us. I feel so lucky to have had her in my life... Even though it was for such a short time.

katie said...

I love how beautiful and personalized the headstone is. The love you have for Kate is evident in everything you do for her. Just a few examples, the headstone, and the Apple Fest 5k. You are such and amazing Mother. Love you!

John and Kassie said...

You always make me cry with your beautiful words---what an amazing mommy and daughter. Little Kate's stone turned out beautiful, Mace loves the ladybug on it and Kate's circle dress:) We think of you often---take care.

Lacey said...

Your words bring back those memories which bring tears to me. Kate taught me to live each day fully. Even though your hurting inside you seem so stong to me. I love you.

The Christensens said...

The headstone is beautiful, Mar. I know it's hard to be without her but know that you have a lot of people around you who love you and are touched by the example of pure love that you and Bryan showed Kate. She was a lucky little girl to have been born to such wonderful parents!

Brynnly said...

Awe Marcae! What a beautiful headstone. I love that song a well and loved that you put it on there. You are amazingly strong. Such an inspiration to me.

The Faddis Family said...

This post brought me to tears, Marcae. I know you miss your sweet daughter everyday, and though life goes on, it is evident of her impact on your lives will live on forever. I was so impressed with the Applefest, and all of the work you put forth to make it all happen. Her headstone is beautiful, just as she is. I look forward to seeing you and the rest of the girls in a few weeks!

Vicki said...

Marcae, her headstone is truly perfect!! What a wonderful tribute to her sweet life. We miss her so much too and think about her all the time. You are so strong and I hope to be there when the time comes your family is united again in Heaven. We love you guys!!

Sue and Damen said...

You guys did a beautiful job with the headstone....it is truely amazing. The song on the back is absolutely perfect. I remember you singing that song to her all the time at the hospital. i can't believe six months have passed. Bug was a huge part of my life both professional and personal. I love you guys!!
Sue

Chrispy Critter said...

What a beautiful headstone. When Mia is a little older, my kids would draw a picture for my mom on her headstone. You guys are amazing!

ryanfam said...

Thank you Marcae more then we could ever say for the strentgh you continually share with all of us.Beyond measures you are the strength most of us only hope to acquire and the courage to move forward that let's each of us know that our lives are in the hands of the Lord! Honestly, I think your amazing! Please wear your heart on your shoulders more often! We love you.

Fritzsche's said...

Marcae I am a little slow at reading this blog post but I'm so glad that I scrolled down and saw it. You may not ever get to read this because the post is older but I have to say that I love her headstone. It is abolutely perfect and beautiful as are you and your baby girl Kate. I love her and miss her too. You are the strongest person I know. Honestly. I can't think of anyone that I am closer too as strong as you. I love you!

carolyn q said...

What a beautiful headstone. When reading your post, I have often said some of those same words out of my mouth in remembering Hope and so many of the thoughts and feelings your shared I have also experienced.
I too would sing "You are My Sunshine" to Hope. When I sing it to my boys now. . .it always reminds me of sitting in those wooden rocking chairs at PCMC holding her. Very Bittersweet.
Heart Hugs,
Carolyn Quigley