Today has been a very hard day for me. I've been thinking a lot about decisions that we make in our everyday lives and reflecting on this time 1-year-ago, when our lives were changed. We had to make so many hard decisions regarding the quality of life for Kater bugs. We wanted the very best life for Kate. Making the decision for her to undergo surgery to have a trach placed was one of the hardest decisions we had to make for her. In my mind, I felt that having a trach meant that Kate was very sick and could not sustain breathing on her own. I didn't want to make this decision because I didn't want to believe that my sweet baby girl was really that sick. After Bryan and I came to the consensus that this is what needed to be done, it was almost as if a huge burden had been lifted off our shoulders and we knew that this was what was best for Kate. Once we gave our permission, the surgery was scheduled for the next morning. I never thought that I would ever miss the little oxygen tubes that became Kate's signature, but I did. Boy was she a trooper. With daily trach cleanings and weekly trach changes.....she rarely put up a fight.
Sometimes we may not know the reasoning for certain experiences in our lives, but how grateful I am that I was able to spend 21 of the most precious months with this sweet little angel.(I love this picture of Kate. She was in the middle of watching Baby Einstein, and from the look on her face, was not thrilled about being interrupted to have her picture taken.....sweet girl).