Friday, February 6, 2009

Sweet Girl!

Today has been a very hard day for me. I've been thinking a lot about decisions that we make in our everyday lives and reflecting on this time 1-year-ago, when our lives were changed. We had to make so many hard decisions regarding the quality of life for Kater bugs. We wanted the very best life for Kate. Making the decision for her to undergo surgery to have a trach placed was one of the hardest decisions we had to make for her. In my mind, I felt that having a trach meant that Kate was very sick and could not sustain breathing on her own. I didn't want to make this decision because I didn't want to believe that my sweet baby girl was really that sick. After Bryan and I came to the consensus that this is what needed to be done, it was almost as if a huge burden had been lifted off our shoulders and we knew that this was what was best for Kate. Once we gave our permission, the surgery was scheduled for the next morning. I never thought that I would ever miss the little oxygen tubes that became Kate's signature, but I did. Boy was she a trooper. With daily trach cleanings and weekly trach changes.....she rarely put up a fight.
Sometimes we may not know the reasoning for certain experiences in our lives, but how grateful I am that I was able to spend 21 of the most precious months with this sweet little angel.
(I love this picture of Kate. She was in the middle of watching Baby Einstein, and from the look on her face, was not thrilled about being interrupted to have her picture taken.....sweet girl).

12 comments:

Jen said...

ahhhh. Brings tears to my eyes Marcae! How blessed you were to have Kate for the short time on earth - and how blessed she was to have THE MOST AMAZING parents EVER!

katie said...

I love her. I love you.
She is such a sweetie.
Reflecting back on that time, I remember how difficult that decision was for you guys. You are such amazing parents.

Meladie said...

Oh Marcae, you are so sweet. Not only were you so blessed to have Kate but how blessed Kate was to have YOU as such a sweet, loving mother! You are such an inspiration to me...you guys are amazing.

The Dumas Family said...

We sure miss that beautiful face and feel so privileged that you choose to share pictures and precious memories on your blog. We feel so close to Kate and to our Heavenly Father because of your family. We love Kate and know she did what she was sent here to do. I am so sorry that you were only given a short time with her.

Carrie said...

Oh Marcae. I LOVE that picture of Kate. She is such an angel. This time of year, esp. has got to be so hard.

I've noticed that during November especially, there are certain moods in the air and smells that just have the memories flood back of my dad of when he was sick. Year after year those feelings are still there.

Kate is so lucky to have you and Bryan as parents. Parents that made sure she had everything that she needed to fulfill her time here on earth. Love you guys!

Brynnly and Alan said...

That is so touching, Marcae. She really is an angel. I'm touched at what a good mom you are.
Thank you for the sweet birthday wish yesterday. It really meant a lot. :)

Lacey said...

yes a very sweet girl. we miss her so much. I agree with you being the most amazing parents ever!

Matt and Amber said...

gosh marcae... I miss that baby doll so much!!!
She has been such a huge blessing in my life. I feel so lucky to have had her! You guys have been such amazing parents and such an example to me...

Treo Sanders said...

OH.... .Mo she is so sweet and I to miss her so much and her sweet spirit. She was so lucky to have such amazing parents and that she was so well taken care of. She was sent to you for a reason. I love you and hope you are doing ok. Can't wait to see you.
YOUR BFF :)

holli said...

Kate was so blessed to have two GREAT parents.....as for you also having sweet little Kate. You two are such an inspiration to me for many reasons. What strong and amazing people the two of you are!!!!

Jon and Camie said...

Marcae,
I just have to tell you what an amazing person you are. You and your husband have so much faith it's amazing to me. I know after going through the trials you have faced, that's the only way to survive. I cry every time I read your blog. I miss Kate so much and I didn't even know her. She is an angel! Thanks for the wonderful example you are to me and many others:)
By the way, Mia is too stinkin cute!
Camie McPherson

Alicia Dabney said...

This made me choke up. Kate's story is amazing and full of miracles and tests of strength in spirit. I am always awed by how strong and loving you were through all of the worries and trials with her health. I think she was as lucky to have you guys as you were to have her. Hugs to you.